I never dealt with any of the underlying emotions, least of all the anxiety. I just leapt into the abyss, burning my life to ash behind me, virtually eliminating any ability to return. I mean, I certainly made sure not to burn any professional bridges, but I gave and threw away years of accumulated convenience to be able to fit my worldly possessions into two bags.

Love is not taught to animals by people. Hate is. I have now watched feral animals in many countries. Not all. I can’t pretend to have a perfectly worldview grasp on this. But I know in Greece and France and Croatia and Italy, many feral cats roam the streets. And when they see a person, they do not hiss and spit; they come up and beg not for food, but to be touched.

Here’s the “cute” trauma triplet no one ever talks about.  There’s Fight or Flight, which everyone knows.  But no one ever talks about Freeze.  Freeze goes largely unacknowledged and un-talked about.  Freeze appears when trauma has been so long-standing that Fight and Flight both got bored and wandered on to more immediate pursuits.

When I first began traveling, years ago, for work, I promised myself I would never enter a country without knowing, at the very least, how to say “hello” and “thank you” in the native tongue and that I would learn as many words as possible while visiting. I still stand by and adhere to this practice, but I’ll admit to getting myself into trouble on multiple occasions in many humorous ways.

With some of my latest self-healing work, I’m realizing it all boils down to a lack of trust. I do not trust myself to speak my truth confidently and with conviction

Thinking about how work against resistance is the very thing that builds muscles and creates strength, I can consider the strength I’ve gained mentally and physically as I strive against whatever adversity is blocking my path.

It all begins with an idea.

My story, I am positive, is not unique. I actually went both directions. For the first year, I overworked, over drank, overate, and who really cared because I was wearing nothing but elastic-waisted pajama pants anyway.

This blog’s purpose is to serve as my reflection pond where I can ground myself in the now, to remind myself how to remain grateful, that first essential element in the quest for happiness.